35 Minutes of Duck Dynasty, But It Gets Progressively More CHAOTIC
Come on, y’all. Let’s do it. Well, in this show today What? one hand. All men should be able to build and assemble. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don’t know if I want it here. I got to let make sure Jess can see the kids. I don’t want it too close to the pond. As men, we’re holding up our end of the bargain.
Hey, wait, wait. Move it further this way. It ain’t getting lighter. Be a man. Build something. Anything. Come come toward me a little bit. It doesn’t matter where we move it. I don’t want to have to do this twice. You’re not doing it once. I’m just being a good supervisor. Boss. What are you talking about? Boss.
This thing will be a cinch. Martin, drop this on three. Wait. Drop it on three. easy. On three or like one, two? Three. Installed. You just tore up my yard. It’s grass. It doesn’t have feelings. Woah. You’re worried about your grass? Yeah, I’m worried about my Look how good it looks.
Do you have grass like this? I didn’t think so. Hey, what kind of tool is this? Oh, that’s my favorite tool. That’s my crapper. Your what? My crapper. Crapper? Yeah, for in the woods. I put it in the back of my truck. Sit on it. Like a boss. I have no idea what would possess a man to carry a toilet seat in the back of his truck.
You just poop right there in the middle of the road? Sometimes you you got to lean back, you know, if you got a tough one. I feel like I need to just wash my hands just listening to this conversation. I don’t want to be using your tools that have been rubbing shoulders with your portable toilet seat. My name’s engraved in it.
So, when my pants are down, it engraves my name in my butt. I need a bigger buffer zone between my hand and your rear end. Just checking to see if y’all wanted something to drink. Oh, no. We don’t have time for coffee. We’re fixing to build the greatest fortress ever. Are you excited, kids? Yeah. Yeah. If one thing I know is how to build a fort. I’m going to call it a playtress.
Aw, that’s a good one, babe. They don’t name cities after playhouses. They name cities after forts. You can call it a playhouse if you want. I’m going to call it a fort. Google, how many cities are named fort? It’s hundreds. Playtress. You know how many playhouses? I was showing them my porta potty. Aw, yeah.
Don’t you like this? Oh, man. She touched it. What? Don’t touch that. I don’t see how you could touch that. What is It’s okay. His naked butt’s been on it. We’re wasting daylight here. All right, guys. We’re excited about the playhouse. Aren’t we, guys? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Y’all be careful. Hey, I’m always safe. Let’s quit talking and start building this fort.
Playtress. I had the weirdest dream last night. A giant eagle took me to his nest Them jokers can fly, Jack. and tried to hatch me. Oh, that’s pitiful. Okay, here’s scary. All right. A gigantic fire-breathing dragon. The scary part is that the stupid dragon had skinny, bony legs, human legs. So, he had your legs? No. Them, too? No, hey.
Them are fine here, boy. Okay. Gentlemen, What about it? Have I got a surprise for you. This is a little mini bonus for me to you. Now we’re talking. Big money. Baloney. Ooh, good grief. Being the entrepreneur that I am, I recently opened my own family restaurant called Willie’s Duck Diner. And the best part is I get to design the menu, including my very own signature sandwich, the Boss Hog.
So, I want y’all to do a little taste test. No. No. Since my sandwich will be the king of all sandwiches, I’ve decided to make it from the king of all meats, bologna. There’s 50 animals in there. Ooh, yucky. And it’s all yeah. Mostly pork, I would imagine. If it’s pork, it’s like his anus or his nose. Oh, boy. Oh, good grief. Oh, boy.
Bologna? It’s like the Michael Jordan, the Wayne Gretzky, and the Mark McGuire of meats. It is big and healthy, but it’s fast, too. And it does hockey stuff. I don’t really understand hockey, but it does that, too. Whatever that is. Skating. Nobody’s going to order that at a restaurant.
No, you need to choose a better quality meat. Okay. Got different sandwiches, all right? We got the Godwin, we got the Martin, we got the Sloppy Assistant. Johnny D has a sandwich? Well, technically it’s called the Sloppy Assistant. I’m your brother. I was jab. He doesn’t have a sandwich? I I’d like a flatbread. Of course you would.
You ain’t helping with the restaurant anyway, so look Yes, I am. I just landed your diner the title sponsor on the racing circuit. Are you kidding? I did that for you cuz I thought, well, he’s got a diner. I love race cars. Well, it’s not cars. Well, then what are we racing? Racing outhouses. Oh, my gosh. Outhouse racing has become a pretty big deal around these parts.
What? It may sound pointless, but they said the same thing when NASCAR was introduced. And look at the advertising now. These people will forever associate, okay, the outhouse with the diner. I don’t want them associating that. This race could do for Willie’s Duck Diner what stock car racing did for Wonder Bread. We get a free spot in the race since you’re the title sponsor.
If you want advertisement for your restaurant, well, you’re in. Free food at from Willie’s Diner. Oh, good grief. I ain’t giving you nothing. I’m telling you, it’s genius. Oh, okay. That’s it. You don’t need to get back to work and this was a stupid idea. Willie’s Diner. There’s nothing like a great bowel movement. Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty good.
That’s a thing of beauty. I don’t care what you say. You know what it’s missing? All right. Let’s see. I mean, look at the cool factor. Look at this. Cool factor, boys. Boom. We’re taking a used toilet and transforming it into a high-performance racing machine. That’s pretty intimidating right there. Oh, yeah.
And you might even let it be dripping some blood. Now, we just need the final touch to make it stand out. Intimidation. The intimidation factor. Awesome. When we’re finished, the only scent coming out of this outhouse will be the smell of victory. Let me take a look at these rules. Driver shall wear a protective helmet.
You’re a one-space dot cat there, Garfield. Sir. John, get control of your pets, son. Sir. What? Driver shall wear safety helmets. No problem. Okay. Two people must push it. That’s me and you. I guess it has to be me and you. Plus, we’re brothers, so it’s like Peyton Manning, I’ll be Peyton, and you’ll be Eli. Peyton is older.
All right, I’ll be Alec Baldwin, and you can be any of the other Baldwin brothers. Stephen. Stephen, there’s another one. Yeah, Billy. I don’t know him. All right, we’ll be the Wright brothers. That’s right. And I’ll be Orville, and you’ll be Wilbur. Great. Okay. Sucker. Who’s going to ride? Y’all want me to drive this puppy? So I love partner.
Si is the obvious choice to drive this outhouse. If you can crank it, I can drive it. All right, boys. You don’t have to put the lid up. Do what? We’re attempting to build brand awareness for Willie’s Duck Diner. Need oil here. You need here. What human draws more attention than Si? Here, here, here. kidding me? Here, here, here, here, here.
And you may want to put a little bit down there. You put him in an outhouse with wheels? Oh, people are going to watch. Now. Si. Mhm. Si. We going to race this thing or what, boys? Let’s put the horns on. I go by the hospital before the race and pick up a quart of blood. I don’t think hospitals give out blood, district.
Well, you can give them 35 bucks and then hey, we’ll we’ll, you know, drip blood off the horn. Maybe this is not a good idea. Let’s give this puppy a test run. You know, this thing actually looks faster once It’s funny. Once we got it going, I’m telling you it’s fast. Look. You want me to tell you how fast it will go? I can’t work.
Uh-oh. UH-OH. LET’S GO, BABY. What was that going? What are you doing? That was a chest bump. That’s pitiful. The attack of the wild boars. That was just an assault. Whoa, I’m fired up. Aren’t you fired up? Chest bump. Chest bump. Hey, are we ready for me to get in there and get ready to drive? Y’all day in here.
We need to set up an obstacle course. Uh, let’s go see what he’s got in his truck, boys. I’m going to go around the brick, around the boot, in between the pole and the bucket, and to the finish line. You will die if you hit that pole. All right. Y’all give me a helmet on, boys. It’s a back. I said a safety helmet, sir.
You just said helmet. Driver shall wear safety helmet. Driver has helmet on and is ready to race. Let’s crank this baby up and go for a ride. It’s time to test this outhouse. Sam may not seem nervous now, but when this thing gets up to speed, let’s just hope he has the stomach for it. The toilet does not have actual working plumbing. Come on now, y’all can do it.
On your mark, get set, go. All right, here we go. Easy, easy. All right, turn it. Oh, boy, this thing can move. All right. All right. Now, turn it again, boys. Here we go. Now, turn it again. HEY, HEY, STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT, SAM. HIT THE BRAKE. UH-OH. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HEY. Get me out OF THIS PIECE OF JUNK.
LOOK, there’s so many opportunities to go out in a blaze of glory. Hey. Going out in a racing toilet, that ain’t at the top of my list, okay? Stop, Sam. He almost ran into that fence. Hey, almost all right. Kick it off. Get me out of this piece of junk. You know, F-18 jet fighter, fully combat loaded, yep, that would be okay.
Good grief, boys. But, yeah, yeah, how did he die? Oh, he uh he got killed in a racing a toilet. Oh, really? Yeah. No. No. That’s all us. All the driving and all. THAT WAS ALL US. The stopping is the problem. I’ll tell you the brakes You got the brake. I ain’t got no brakes. They ain’t no good on this piece of trash. That’s why I like it.
Why don’t you boys get in there and drive it and then the other two push him and I’ll see how y’all do. What you think about old turnip greens here? Why did you call it turnip greens? They produced the greatest bowel movement ever. Fastest movement in the west. Fastest movement in the west. That skull is awesome. Thank you.
It looks like blood. That’s an intimidation factor. That is great. Why is it called turnip greens? Okay. Cuz it produces the greatest bowel movement. Well, Jase. Oh my goodness. Speaking of turds. Philip McMillen is He’s back. Uh-oh, headache. Headache. Well, I should have known this would happen.
Anytime you set up an event like this, it’s bound to attract the bottom of the barrel. Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing? Son, don’t run over my staff here. I was wondering if he’d be back this year. That’s right. The original sultan of the trailer park, Philip McMillen. Does the guy not have a job? race everything and anything except for cars? All right, even though this is a giant waste of money, we need to beat him.
Oh my goodness. Well, well, well. Look what we got here, boys. Carnival shut down for the day? I didn’t know the duck dorks were flipping burgers now. Good one. tell what we got here. Mr. T or pseudo green. Can you sing? That’s funny, sir. Real funny. you can’t race. I know that already. Last time I lost by a technicality.
Philip McMillen is having engine trouble. YOU LOST, DIDN’T YOU, DAD? LOST. YOU LOST. That’s the point. Win some, you lose some. Today, I win some. What am I saying, BOYS? WOO! PIPE DOWN, WESTMAN TOO. IS HE FOR REAL? GET THAT dump truck ready. Get out there on that white line, and let’s get it on. Technically, all outhouses are dump trucks.
True. That one’s a turnip dump. That don’t even make sense. That’s funny. Yeah, that’s funny. Mhm. Let’s go, guys. Turnip dump. Jase, we got to win this thing now. I didn’t think you cared about this. Well, now I do. You got to take the villain down. This is a game changer. I went from hoping to win to needing to win.
I ain’t driving. This thing ain’t got no brakes. What? Well, it’s got them technically, but they don’t work. Okay, that’s not good. Jase, I think you need to get in race this thing. I think you may be right. This is the ultimate game of Thrones. First thing you do is, I get the oil can out, and oil everything that moves.
Huh? Including Jase. Oil him down? Make sure everything’s fast. That’s awkward. Ladies and gentlemen, the minor attraction race. Phillip McMillan in a millionaire mobile. I hope you can drive that turnip green in a ditch. And Jase too in the long and lagging racer. LET’S DO THIS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME it is? Time for you to lose.
I can actually say that this was all fun and games up until this point. Now, the gloves are off. Just cuz you spend a lot of time on the pot doesn’t mean you’re an expert. Fire in the hole, boys. Oh, it’s on now. Y’all ready? Banjo e banjo. Let’s go, boys. Go get THEM, BOYS. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. WE GOT IT.
HE’S CATCHING HIM NOW. HE’S PASSING HIM NOW. THEY’LL CROSS THE LINE FIRST. NEVER GOING TO LIVE this down. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was terrible. Where’s the brake? No brake. No brake. No brake. To be so close to victory only to have it ripped out of your hands at the last second by a pudgy yellow wig-wearing man in Crocs is just downright embarrassing.
Who won? I figured that it’s you. I may never ever be able to look at a toilet quite the same again. I cannot believe I lost. When y’all started, you were pushing hard and you weren’t pushing and I went toward the ditch. That’s cuz he wasn’t putting out over there. I was It’s called technical difficulties. And you lose this time.
Well, you get free food for a year. Compliments Willie’s Diner. And his specialty is baloney sandwich. Baloney? Congratulations. I love baloney. Thank you, man. Hey, baloney’s my favorite. Kind of like you better already. Yeah, and it’s free. Hey! Get out of here, you sucker. Oh my goodness, it’s a ping pong table. As it all turns out, there’s some awesome junk here.
Gentlemen, I need a paddle. To let this sit idly by and collect dust is a travesty. I’m fixing to strap you boys. Put your paddle where your mouth is. I mean, I’m good with shotguns, floss waters, and paddles. Just call me McEnroe. Call me Jimmy Connors. Sheriff Holvey. Sheriff Holvey? Yeah, I’m the only woman.
Well, that’s a good looking woman. You ready? I’m ready. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah! LAST CHANCE FOR HUMANITY. I WON, THOUGH. I got winner. You never grow out of wanting to play ping pong. 7-3. I’m not saying I’m the best Robertson, I got 20 on J. but I usually win. Game point. You get it? Red belly rules. Pay up, son. You know what to do. Everyone likes a little violence.
All right, here we go. We had to think a while. How can we make ping pong more violent? Ooh. Red belly rules. Red belly! Always painful. Oh! It does have to fun. Red belly. Red belly. Red belly. Make it hurt. OH! CENTER MASS. WHAT IS THIS? We found a ping pong table. I can see that, John. You’re supposed to be cleaning up the warehouse, not playing ping pong.
We straightened up a little bit. What? Go back to duct tape room work. Let’s play one point. No, this is over. 1 – 0 Jase has been trying to goad me into competitions ever since I was a kid. I’m not playing ping pong. I know, I see that. Jase, I’m 40 years old. No, that didn’t count.
I wasn’t even ready. You wouldn’t have hit it anyway. Those school yard tactics ain’t going to work anymore. It’s nothing nothing. That don’t count. Starts now. GAME STARTS NOW. UH-OH. THE BOSS HAS GOT SOME TRICKS. Just to be clear, I’m only doing this so they’ll get back to work. 1 – 0 Here we go. We’ll go to seven. Junior Olympic team.
Bring the heat. Oh, okay. HEY, I’M SORRY. COME ON. THERE’S TWO type of people in any bet. The hustler pays the piper. He swings and a miss. And then you got the idiot. What an idiot. On the woodpecker bet, I was the idiot. Step aside, boys. My wing’s warmed up. Now I’m fixing to become the hustler.
All I need is an idiot of my own. $1 you leave more than five cups up there. Beagle, you boys better step back. It ain’t no telling where these cups are fixing to fly. Y’all ready? Oh, this is easy MONEY HERE. OH, just a bit outside. It blows my mind that the dad and Si are related. Hey, back when I was in high school, I was the deadliest pitcher in the state of Louisiana.
Double or nothing. Double or nothing. Double or nothing. OH, TRIPLE OR NOTHING. Let’s go. Dad could have been an NFL quarterback. They nicknamed me the Terminator. Y’all ready for me to knock all 10 of these cups down? Si looks like Gumby throwing a baseball. The rock back, hey.
I only had one pitch. The bean. All right. HE SUCKS. TURKEYS. THESE BOYS think they got the best of old Si. Nice doing business with you, clown. But hey, look. I just need the right bat, then I’ll cash in. Dude, this baseball’s got me fired up. Let’s go to batting cages and I’ll show those boys nobody gets the best of Silas Merritt Robertson. Baseball fever, boys.
Stupid cups. Hey, that’s one way to do it. Are you ready for the baseball? Wrong sport, Si. Look here. When I get through, I’m going to have a roll that will choke a full-grown mule. Now, this is the bet I’ve been waiting for, okay? I might just give y’all a break. Just use one hand. You know what they say.
If at first you don’t hustle, me and Thunderstick will take it. Down. Try, try again. What are you talking about? That thing’s twice my age. Plus, those cups, I’m positive they were defective. They weren’t up to code. Come on, Thunderstick. Age before beauty. Well, that’s how I go first. I got to Dallas says you don’t make contact.
Get in there and hit. You ready? Let’s do this. Where’s the dolphin this time? Si proved yesterday he can’t throw a baseball. Hey, goodness. This is like I can tell you spent a lot of time in batting cages. So, I know he can’t hit one. You ready? No, I AIN’T READY. HUH? MY BET, a whole LOT OF SWINGING.
ALL RIGHT. SI, you’re embarrassing the Robertson name. And a whole LOT OF MISSING. HEY, WHAT’S WITH THE HIGH HEAT, MAN? AND maybe a few balls to the old coconut. Pay up, son. Ball four, first base. You still lose. You didn’t make contact. throw me a strike. What? Look here. Obviously, that game’s rigged, but what these boys don’t know is, hey, I’m fixed to clean them out on the side bets.
That’s the best hustle. Gentlemen’s bet, he’s got to hit two of them. There it is. OH, YEAH. YES, SIR. PAY UP. Gentlemen’s bet. What’s the bet? Hey, look here. I’m fixing to put these boys on a one-way ticket, first class, to Brokeville. Four five. Hey, now. Hey, you’ve been hustled. You’re a grown man. Get over it. Give me my money.
Gentlemen’s bet? Yep, definitely will hit this one. Guaranteed. Thank you for the donation, Si. Boo-hoo-hoo. Si took all my dollar bills. He hustled me. Give me a break. It’s a stupid dollar. My money. Give me the dollar. Pay up. Hey, you know what? Hey, all of baseball is defective. Hey, you ever seen Die Hard? Yeah, I’ve seen Die Hard.
It sounds like an autobiography of Si’s life. No, I don’t get that. I’ve seen Die Hard. It has nothing even close to me in the movie. Cuz Si, of all the crazy, clumsy things you’ve ever done, you’ve lived to tell about it. One time, Si had an actual heart attack while we were hunting. Remember the heart attack, duck hunting? Uh, that’s pretty incredible you survived that one.
And he didn’t even know it. Most people say, “I better get to the hospital.” Si said, “Hand me some more shells.” That’s it. Hey, how are you still alive? Boom. Don’t hurt yourself, Si. It’s a mystery. What is that noise? Oh, that’s his stomach. He’s been doing that for an hour. I’m about to starve to death.
Boys, that remind me. Hey, in Vietnam, they cook up something that’s like a fortune cookie. Okay, but it’s sweet. What, are they like donuts? They was the Vietnam version of a donut. What, are they hot? Yeah. A hot donut is one of life’s wonders. Well, they just slide down your mouth. Oh, yeah. Good not a living.
If they passed a law saying the only way you could continue to eat hot donuts is if you shave your beard, it’s good by beard. What’s the difference in hot or cold? It’s something about it? Cold ones, I get six. Hot ones, I get 48. 48? That’s the difference, okay? Now look, they got a new donut shop that just opened down here.
Oh yeah, right up the road. We’re going to ride down there and I’m going to tell them I want a hot donut. Amen. Let’s do it. We need a field trip. Let’s go. We got to sort this out. I don’t discriminate between a hot or cold. I just eat them. He’s not a donut connoisseur. Here we go. I’m fixed to prove a point to y’all. Mhm. What in the world? You win a free camper for some donuts? Been there all week.
You want to sell some donuts? You back a camper in there and give it away. There’ll be rednecks come out of rocks, caves, and mountaintops to eat your donuts. Look here, win a camper. Is that for real? That’s for real. The drawing’s today, we’ll even deliver it. This is redneck society at its finest. That is.
What we really want to know is do you have hot donuts? I’ll have you some in a 10 minutes, maybe. Oh. What on earth could you be doing where you couldn’t wait 10 minutes for some hot donuts? If they say 1 hour, you say, “I’ll wait all day.” Look here, if they’re hot, I’ll eat more than all three of y’all. What are you talking about? Hot or cold, I’ll eat more than you.
I’ve got 20 bucks that says I eat more donuts than you. I’ll take that bet. I’m in on that. Here you go, right there. There ain’t no way you can eat more than I can. We’ll start off with a dozen a piece and go from there. Open us a tab. Oh, yeah. You wouldn’t think, looking at me, at my physique, but hey look, I’m like a small nuclear plant.
That’s just my metabolism, okay? Boys, I think I should have just went ahead and put the $80 in my pocket cuz I’m going to win. Ah, you ain’t going to win, you too skinny. Mhm, run your mouth, go ahead. I’m going to come in number one. You ain’t even going to come in second. Look at you boys are in for a world of hurt.
I just picked them up off the glaze. Oh, yeah. Well, let’s go with it. Ready, set, go. Okay, here we go. Oh, they are hot. Good job. That’s good right there. That’s the best donut I’ve had today. Looks like y’all are doing pretty good. I’m going to check on the next batch for y’all. All right, y’all. The eating contest begins. Three donuts.
I look around. Godwin is inhaling one right after another. Martin’s over there sucking down chocolate milk just to keep them down. And Si looks as cool as a cucumber, slow and steady. Just That’s when I realized Oh, yeah. I have met my match. I have to admit, I may be in trouble. I’m about to die. Hey boys, I’m just getting started.
This just an appetizer. Where you putting them things, in your pocket? I ate them, Si. Hey, look here. You boys are a bunch of pansies. I’m on 22. Where you at, Si? I’m going 29. I could do this in my sleep. You know, hey, thinking about that. Hey, I could use a good nap. I should be number 32. Ah, I’m going to bow out at 27. That’s all I got.
Yeah, I can’t do it. I’m done. You boys crying? Uncle It ain’t worth $20 for me to go puke my guts out. I’m out. All right, boys. You won, Si. Congratulations. I beat that contest, now I’m fixing to win at camper. Where that lady at? Right there. Huh? Hey, look here. With this 80 bucks, I’m fixing to parlay this into some serious cash.
Hey, let me get 80 of them tickets for Si Robertson. I’m fixing to win that sucker. It’s either bet big or go the house, Jack. Oh, let’s get out of here. Y’all want to some donuts to take with y’all? Not a chance. good. Oh my goodness. Get up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I’ll handle. Yeah. I’m in I’m in no shape to be catching 50 lb boxes cuz I have a weight distribution problem right now.
We are suffering from a condition called donut stupor. I hope this makes me throw up. Look at my belly. When you put large quantities of digested donuts in motion, your body becomes a ticking time bomb. And then it just falls apart. Them look heavy. Yeah, they’re heavy. You lazy rascal, won’t you help us? What are you laughing at, you old coot? Why is he laughing? Is he going crazy? He’s delirious.
Too many donuts. Look right here. You have got to be kidding me. You from the donut shop? I am. All right, that’s what I thought. Which one of you is Silas? Oh, hey. That’d be me, Jack. Hey, look here. I’ve always been lucky. I’m talking about hey, penny on head inside a horseshoe. You going to need these right here? On top of a four-leaf clover.
Hey, my money paid for that. So did mine. No. And rolled up with the leprechaun. Hey, I’ll see you suckers later. All right, enjoy your new pad. Oh, I plan on it. Hey, you still got to make wreaths. Hey! It’s awful quiet in here. I’m enjoying the peace and tranquility of life without Si. Si has turned his fancy little camper into an office of solitude, and he’s given me the greatest gift he’s ever given me.
Silence. This is my last reed. How many more Si got for us? My count is five. Five? Let me go check and see if he’s building any. Yeah, you going to have to go out there and tell him we need some reeds. Unbelievable. This is the way we do it. Da da da da da. Oh, yeah. In living color. Si, what are you doing? Hey, I’m cooking me something to eat. I got hungry.
God, that stinks. Hey, that’s my squirrel and spaghetti. How in the world can you be hungry after all them stinking donuts? That was a That was a snack. Ooh. What’s Oh, good grief. So, you ain’t got those reeds? No, tell Jase they’re a work in progress. Oh, good lord. All right, I’ll tell him. I’m out of here. Ooh.
And na na na na na. Ooh. Na na na na na. Hm. Boom boom boom boom. Ooh. What’s the verdict? Si has got some kind of squirrel concoction out there that may have turned about 2 weeks ago, it smells like. Oh. He don’t have any reeds? No. No. No. No. Who would have thought that Si could out-eat y’all? I would have thought it.
This is a problem. This is the way we do it. We’re officially out of reeds. Done. This won’t work. We got to have the reeds. It all comes back to that stupid raffle. Si turning this camper into an office is not working. We’ve created a perfect storm. He has brought production to a screeching halt. We can’t just sit here.
I got I I got to have reeds. I would say he’s the cow in the tracks stopping the train, but I would never look at my Uncle Si and see a cow. Well, let’s go out there. This won’t work. Unless it was severely malnourished. What is the man doing? This is not going to work. Si, we need some reeds. Si? Si? Check his pulse. Make sure he’s alive.
He’s out. If he wasn’t snoring so loud, I’d think he was dead. Let’s pour some cold water on him. If there was ever a perfect opportunity to mess with my Uncle Si, now is the time. I got a better idea. What’s that? Follow me. Hello. This is one of the best ideas I’ve ever had. How about a little ride to the middle of nowhere? Jack.
I’ve never seen a man sleep quite like that. Oh, it’s impressive. There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned Robertson family road trip. Uncle-nephew bonding time. Let’s see. I think this is the perfect spot. This is the best idea we have ever had. Go unload. Mission complete. All right, let’s get out of here.
Let’s get out of here. Enjoy, Si. Sweet dreams, Uncle Si Robertson. Sweet dreams. He’s still sleeping. Now I know how he made it through the war. He just slept through He just slept through it. Man, that was a tranquil nap. Look here. I felt like I was floating on clouds the whole time. Ah. This camper is like being dipped in in the fountain of youth, boys.
All right, very funny, boys. Hey, get your all butt back down here, you three stooges. Good grief, boys. Hey, whatever happened to respect your elders around this joint? Man, can’t even go take a nap anymore around these idiots. Hey, that ain’t funny. Why are you idiots?
